It’s been nearly 4 years since I resigned my membership in the LDS church. Life is so much simpler. As I’ve let go of so much, I’ve found myself coming to know myself better. This has involved, at times, being painfully honest with myself. It has also involved some discomfort as I’ve looked at my life without the idealistic glasses of culture and religion. As a result, I’m casting off the old illusion of self and truly growing to know myself. I’m becoming more in tune with what I need and want to be happy. I’ve learned to listen to myself, to understand myself, and to accept and allow myself to be me, including my imperfections. I am me, and the me I’m coming to know is far more beautiful without being seen through the lens of religion and dysfunctional social pressures. I love me. For the first time in my life, I feel that I have something genuine to offer myself and others: the real me, a me that is whole and secure.

My feelings about “God” have also changed. As a product of religion and culture, I’ve always viewed God as an outsider, a being separate and distant from myself. Interestingly, as I’ve let go of these influences and become more in-tune with myself, I’ve felt more one with God. Now, I feel that God is less of an individual and more an energy that is a part of all things. This new epiphany has given me an alternate insight into Christ’s words when he referred to his oneness with the Father. I’ve come to see the divine differently. I feel one with the divine and see it as being at the center of my intuition and knowing. This new wholeness of self has helped me to continue to “let go”. I’m seeing myself let go of unhealthy relationships, expectations on myself and others, and the physical world, in other words, stuff in general. I find myself caring a lot less about the external: home, car, finances, the future and the past. Rather, I am finding that I am more present in the moment, and more appreciative of the now. Life is good.

Advertisements